say something
by lunajec
Summary: Ambitious, well-born student meets unpredictable, vengeful librarian (yes, librarian), who brings him into his risky plan. What could possibly go wrong?
1. 1 The librarian

Charles Xavier without a doubt happens to be lucky bastard. Intelligent, good looking, sharp, with thirst for knowledge, heart of gold and good manners. Even his cheesy one-liners work well on ladies and his arrogance is disturbingly charming. He comes from well-off family and even though his parents divorced and his mother got married once again, they're still good friends. Charles lives in quite big, modern apartament which he shares with younger sister. She has some serious issues, but overall, their common life is surprisingly good, at least from Charles' point of view. You won't hear him grumbling about his life, because why would he? Only his parents seem to be a bit concerned by the fact that their only son is still single, but for him it's not a problem – he has friends and loving family, he doesn't feel lonely. "Just let me enjoy university life", Charles replies usually, a bit tired of hearing about parents' hiddling concerns.

And today is another day of Charles' a little bit too idyllic life. It's April; flowers are blooming, birds are tweeting, people are romancing and he's just laying on the wide lawn by the university, reading book in peace. That's exactly how he loves to spend breaks between lectures – on learning even more interesting stuff. Even fellow students walking around, talking and laughing can't distract him. Apart from this one tall, awkward guy with nerdy glasses and indispensable red backpack, who walks towards him.

"Where have you been?" Charles asks from over the book. "You disappeared after the lecture." "Yeah... I had a chat with professor Keaton..." Hank sits on the grass next to his friend. "He lent me few books about genetics." He reaches red backpack and takes out three thick volumes which he passes to Charles. "God bless biochemistry!" Recently they both developped fascination with the genetics, but deepening theory is not enough for two young, bright minds.

"Also, I asked Keaton if we could do our own research in academic laboratory." Hank clearly has difficulties with hiding excitement. So does Charles; he puts off the book on a grass and moves up to sit in front of his friend. "And...?" "And he said that he needs to talk about it with professor McLeod, but in general he..." "Hello boys!"

Their scientific and totally geeky conversation is suddenly intrrupted by feisty brunette with armful of manuals and large cup of coffee in her hand.

"Here comes our favourite lady!" Charles doesn't seem annoyed by the fact that their conversation has been disrupted. "How you doing, Moira?" "Thanks, Hank, I'm fine..." She lurks next to them and says with serious voice: "We need to talk about Raven." "Why?" Charles lives with his sister long enough to know that serious discourse about her will not bring anything positive into his life. "Did something happen?" "I met her in the morning, in cafeteria. She was sitting alone, so I sat with her. We've been chatting for a while... And at one point, sleeve of her jumper rolled up. I noticed few fresh scars on her forearms... I'm so sorry, Charles." "Again?" Hank asks like he couldn't believe in what he has just heard. Both him and Moira are the only friends of Charles who know about Raven's problems, mainly because he met them in high school and they immediately became his best friends.

"I can't believe she still cuts herself and I didn't notice it..." Charles says quietly, as if he suddenly languished. "It's not your fault." Hank pats him on the shoulder. "He's right. Maybe you promised your parrents to support Raven, but after all you don't know what she's thinking about. You can't read her mind, so stop blaming yourself."

Moira's right, but it doesn't stop Xavier from being sure that he failed as older brother who has been supposed to help his sister. And, what's weird, he could have sworn that lately Raven felt surprisingly well.

"Anyway, I will talk to her at home." Charles doesn't feel like continuing small talk about his sister; he reaches his hand towards Moira's coffee. "May I...?" "No way!" She hides the cup behind her back. "I've just finished my today courses and I'm going to spend whole evening and night on reading some super interesting files that professor Chang gave me. I need extra energizers and I won't share it with anyone. Don't even try these puppy eyes on me, Charles." "You're a brutal creature." he says as Moira stands up. "Yes." she replies with undisguised pride. "Yes, I am. Bye, boys, have fun with your biochemical stuff!" "And you have fun with your criminological stuff!" Charles says loudly as she's walking away.

"I'm pretty sure we also should go, pal." Hank looks at his watch. "Lecture begins in ten minutes." "If you say so... Let's go then."

When extremely boring lecture is over, Charles urges Hank to not wait for him and go home, simply because he needs to go to library which is on the other side of the campus and it may take a while. Finally afteen about fifteen minutes walk (during which he met and greeted with polite smile great amount of his acquitaintances), Charles reaches quite big, storied building of academic library. He visits this place at least twice a week, so smell of old paper and dust on ancient bookstands feel like home. But today there's surprise waiting for him. When he approaches the librarian's position with two quite thin books in his hand, instead of worthy, middle-aged miss Collins he notices good looking man in his twenties, sitting by the desk and reading newspaper. He's wearing beige trousers and navy blue turtle-neck and his face expresses nothing but indifference; apparently he didn't realise that someone have just entered the library.

"Excuse me?" Charles tries to sound politely and firmly at the same time. "I would like to return the books..." After hearing these words, stranger puts off newspaper on the desk and reaches hand towards surprised Charles. "Your card" he says with weary voice. "Oh, right!" Xavier passes his card and books to the man. He literally feels in his guts the insolent gaze of the librarian's bright eyes. "What about miss Collins?" Charles can't keep this question only for himself. "She had an accident" the librarian sighs as he's scanning codes inside the books. "Broken leg and twisted wrist, she's having few weeks off and I'm her substitute." Charles nods and suddenly notices ID lying on the desk, saying: Erik Lehnsherr, the librarian.  
"Aren't you a bit too young to be a librarian?" he asks almost unconsciously before thinking over the question, even though it may seem nosy or maybe just stupid. But what is done cannot be undone; Charles is waiting in silence for any reaction. Seconds are passing slowly and finally, Erik Lehnsherr replies: "Aren't you way too nosy to be well-educated Englishman, Charles?" And before Xavier has a chance to deny, he adds: "I finished some courses."|  
He gives the card back to Charles and none of them says anything until he leaves library in a hurry, feeling way more silly than he actually is.  
Sometimes Charles feels guilty that he and his sister live in an apartment big enough for family with two kids, while Moira rents a room in dorm ("Student living in his own apartment? Are you kidding me, Charles? I'm going to continue a beautiful tradition of dormitories. It's gonna be fun, I suppose.") and Hank shares flat with potential junkie slash misunderstood musician, currently unemployed former soldier and taxi driver slash almost professional fish breeder. Actually Hank was living with Charles for almost two years, but when Raven began her studies and parents asked Charles to take care of her sister, Hank moved out insisting that "he doesn't want to interrupt Xaviers' family buisness". He seems to like his current cotenants though.  
But today is not a day for guilt; at least for that kind of guilt (he's still thinking about his tomfoolery in library). Charles feels luxuriously comfortably in his not-so-little kingdom, when he finally can have a word with his sister. He finds her sitting on a couch in living room, watching television with no interest on her face. She's wearing clothes from Typical Raven Spring Collection: grey, definetely too big jumper, denim shorts and artistically riddled black tights. Her blonde locks contrast with dark, a bit sloppy outfit.  
"Hello" she greets older brother with subtle smile on her face. "Hi, Raven, we need to talk..." Charles says as he sits next to her. "Could you turn off the tv?" She does what she was asked for and looks at him questioningly. Charles knows that asking about what Moria told him is pointless – she would lie anyway. So he just grabs her hand and, leaving her no time for reaction, rolls up a sleeve.  
"Hey, what are you...?!" Raven breaks free, but it's too late. Charles has already seen what he was looking for. Few new scars among the old ones.  
"What the fuck are you doing?!" she yells. "Better tell my why are _you_ doing this." Charles replies, trying to sound calmly. "It's not your buisness..." "Oh, believe me, it is my buisness. We've already been through this, remember? I know it's hard, but at least try to get over it!" His trembling voice is becoming louder and louder; he hardly controls his emotions. "Do you really think it's so easy?" Raven asks and her voice cracks. "Raven..." Charles tries to calm her, but it doesn't stop her tears. "I'm so scared" she says quietly. "You shouldn't be. It's over, right? They won't hurt you again, I promise." Charles embraces his sister and keeps saying the mantra: "Everything's going to be alright, just calm down. Everything's going to be fine..." Her trembling body suddenly seems much smaller and more delicate.


	2. 2 With a bang

"Come on, Hank! Don't do this to me!"  
Talking on a phone while having dinner (fantastic spaghetti carbonara cooked by Charles Xavier himself) could definetely be considered quite rude, but not in Xaviers' place. While Charles is phoning his best friend, Raven slowly eats pasta and laughs at her brother from time to time.

"But I'm honest when I say that I can't go out tonight." Hank sounds desperate to prove that he's not lying. "Please, don't tell me that you need to study exactly tonight..." And Charles apparently doesn't believe him. "But I do. I have to." "Okay, but what do you have to learn?" "You know... Things." "Hank, you are lying to me." "No, I am not! Why can't you ask Moira?" "I already did and she said yes." "Why do you need me so much then?" "I just thought that maybe you would like take a rest. You seem to be overworked..." Short pause. "I really appreciate your concern, Charles, but I'm fine. I really am." "Okay then..." Charles sighs heavily. "Let's say I believe you. But remember about tomorrow party." That's what him and Raven decided after long conversation about her cut wrists: that she needs more entertainment. Throwing party, even small one, seemed to be good idea. "Sure, I remember. I'll bring boys too." Great. Good luck with your studying, pal." "Thanks. Have fun with Moira."  
Charles hangs up and puts his phone off on the table, sighing heavily: "He works too hard." "And you don't?" Raven raises her eyebrows. "Yes, but I always know when to take a break and relax."

It's hard to argue about this one, so she just keeps quiet. They finish the meal in silence, until Charles asks curiously: "Why did you keep laughing at me?" And, instead of replying, she just laughs again. "Raven...?" "It's just..." She calms down but there's still little smile upon her face. "You try so hard to make Hank hang up with you... It's like you were really afraid that someone could consider Moira as your girlfriend." "That's nonsense!" he objects with disturbingly high voice. "Why would I..." "Look." Raven sighs like she was forced to explain some really simple thing tenth time. "I know that you're ladies' man who's not into this whole relationship thing... What seriously pisses our parents off by the way... But, if you ask me, I think that you and Moira would make nice couple." "Maybe we would, but we're just friends, right?" Charles is annoyed by the topic of this conversation, yet he still tries to sound politely. Sure, he's very close to Moira, he actually finds her very smart, funny and attractive; in high school they were literally inseparable. But they've never felt this way, at least he hasn't. "For me it's just too much touching, flirting and all this stuff..." Raven doesn't give up, but Charles' only answer is a smirk. "I'll be in my room..." He stands up. "Will you wash the dishes, please?" "Of course I will" she replies with tongue in cheek, smiling a bit too nicely as her brother leaves the kitchen.  
Charles' room definetely doesn't match style of rest of the apartment: dark green wallapaper, oak furniture, massive desk in the middle and few bookstands full of thick, largely old books. Old-fashioned, just as Charles likes it. Raven always mocks him because of that, but he doesn't care; he feels way more comfortable with outmoded stuff around. Maybe because he grew up living in this huge, antique mansion house? So did Raven, but she's never been a fan of old fashioned decor.

Charles grabs the book that's laying open on the desk and lodges on a big, comfortable bed. He has already read this book about seven times and it's the interesting one, therefore he really should go to library to have something new to read. But he won't. There's no way Charles Xavier will appear in university library during next... Well, at least week. It's been three long days since he's been there for the last time. And this stomach ache he feels everytime he thinks about first meeting with Erik Lehnsherr is slowly killing him. He's still not sure why though.

"How do I look?" Charles shows up in the living room two hour later, wearing dark jeans, black, elegant shoes and light blue shirt with rolled up sleeves. Raven, who's sitting on a couch with the laptop, eyes him up and down very slowly before saying: "Like a professor going out on business lunch with his colleague." "Thanks for honesty... I really appreciate it" he replies ironically as he leaves the room. "Hey, listen! I told you thousand times to throw out these granddad's clothes..." "Let's hope Moira will be more optimistic than you are!" Charles shouts from the hall. "I'll be back at twelve."  
Less than fifteen minutes later Charles' standing at the entrance to his, Moira's and Hank's favourite pub. Sun is slowly disappearing over horizon and late afternoon is turning into warm, starry evening. The darker it gets, the more groups of laughing, young people are entering the pub. Moira, as always, appears on time. She's wearing skinny jeans, dark green shirt and brown leather jacket and has her characteristic, giant bag; her high heels are clicking loudly as she walks towards Charles.

"You're looking great." He greets her with grin upon his face. "Thank you!" Moira kisses him on a cheek. "So are you." Her words make Charles laugh uncontrollably, but when he notices Moira's questioning look, he explains: "Actually, before I left Raven had told me that I looked like old fart... Anyway, let's come in, shall we?"

Surprisingly, pub is full of people. This is quite popular place among the students, but Charles has never seen such an amount of people here before. What's even weirder, they're mostly males. He looks around and realizes that they're all staring at television hanging over the bar, with their mouths open, shouting or discussing what they see on screen.

"Bloody match..." Moira grunts when they sit at the bar – the only available place they find after threading their way through the crowd. "I wanted to relax, not to spend few hours among sweaty, shouty football fans." "I think..." Charles' words are interrupted by overwhelming shouts of tens grown men, but he remains calm. "I think we should go somewhere else." "But it looks like an important game." She look hopelessly at tv. "I'm pretty sure all pubs look like this tonight." "Okay, but we can go to my apartment then..." "...or you can simply visit very cool place I'm going to show you. Zero football fans, I promise."  
Erik Lehnsherr appears from nowhere; suddenly he sits on a bar stool next to Charles. Dark jeans, AC/DC shirt and leather jacket make him look like genuine motorcyclist. His gaze makes Charles feel uncomfortable, just like few days ago in a library, so Xavier simply looks away. "You aren't a drug dealer, are you?" Moira asks suspiciously and sinister smile appears on his face. "What, are you afraid of me?" "No." Moira MacTaggert afraid of stranger she meets in a pub? Not a chance. Just in case, she always has pepper spray in her bag. "Just askin'." "I'm not dangerous, ask your friend" he adds evasively while peeking at the tv. "Charles, could you introduce me your new friend?" "That's not my..." Charles' voice becomes unnaturally high, as always when he's timid or panics. Erik looks at him, raising his eyebrows. "Sorry, I..." Charles clears his throat. "Moira, that's Erik, our new librarian." "Librarian?" Moira is clearly surprised. "Yeah, yeah..." And apparently all these reactions on his current occupation annoy Erik and bore him to death. He stands up and looks at them expectantly. "Are you going or...?" Charles and Moira look at each other. She has already decided to trust the stranger, he still remembers about the situation he and Erik had few days ago and isn't sure if he's ready for next awkward moments. It's not clear for him, but he thinks that they're inevitable. Finally it's Moira who decides: "Yes, of course." "Excellent." Erik's poker face doesn't match his optimistic words. "It's quite near. Follow me." They get out of pub, leaving clamorous crowd and spend next ten minutes passing more or less known streets in silence. Erik doesn't feel like talking a lot, Charles keeps feeling too uncomfortable to talk and Moira simply enjoys lack of crazy football fans shouting over her head.

"Here it is" Erik says when they reach some dark, forgotten blind alley Charles and Moira have never seen before. He shows them stairs by one of the buildings, leading under ground. It would look like ordinary entrance to a basement if not for flashy, neon sign: two blue revolvers jumping around pink words _Bang Bang_.

"It looks like some sort of super secret gay bar" Moira whispers to Charles' ear as they walk down the stairs; he barely keeps from laughing. Erik doesn't hear her words or just chooses to ignore them. He opens metal doors and they walk into small, cozy, almost empty bar. Charles feels like he has gone back in time – whole interior looks like an odd combination of 50s, 60s, 70s and 80s, with all these neons, movie posters on brick walls and Bee Gees songs playing through the speakers. And that's this kind of messy old school that he loves.

"May I help you?" There was no chance curvy, pin-up girl behind the bar wouldn't see Erik, Charles and Moira – apart from them there are only four hipsters who sit at the bar, talking quietly and giggling. "Yeah." Erik approaches the bar with Charles and Moira following him. "Two beers for us and for the lady..." "Cosmopolitan?" barmaid suggests dispassionately. "Pina Colada? Sex On The Beach?" "No, no, please!" Moira leans against the bar. "I'd love to order a beer as know..." She flashes Erik a smile. "I'm not _that_ kind of lady."

When they sit by the table in the corner, Moira is first person to talk.

"So you really do like this job or you just need one?" She points at Erik with a yellow straw she took from the bar. "Both." he replies briefly and adds after short pause: "It looks like everybody's interested in my job..." Moira decides to put off the straw and takes great gulp of beer before saying: "You know, we get used to miss Collins... Right, Charles?"

And after few minutes of trying to ignore the presence of Erik and thinking about complicated, scientific things, Charles becomes visible again. "I... Yes. Yes, you're right." Lehnsherr gives him a mysterious glance and says to Moira: "Actually Charles was pretty surprised that I'm not middle-aged woman. I guess I was a big disappointment." And he takes a sip of beer, looking enormously proud of his words, which made Moira laugh quietly and Charles blush. Xavier wants to react and surprise him with some clever riposte, but instead he just lowers his eyes. It's like his usually sharp mind has suddenly became totally numb. He wants to leave - thought about Erik's another commentary literally makes him sweat. But it looks like Moira tries really hard to make atmosphere less awkward: "You are not from here, are you?" she asks curiously. "I mean, you have funny accent... Funny in good way, of course. And..." Suddenly her phone rings. "Oh, sorry..." she says as she takes it out from her bag, observed by both Erik and Charles. "Yes, Molly?" Molly is Moira's roommate; she can also be described as feisty, ginger nerd who kind of had fancied Charles at one time, before she met her current boyfriend. Apparently she has a lot to say, because Moira keeps quiet for quite a long time. Only her expression is becoming more and more confused. When she finally speaks, she sounds resolute: "Wait, wait... Is it really so bad? Okay then.. I'll be there for fifteen minutes. See you."

_No. No, no, no, please. Moira, don't leave me here. Not with him. Pretty please._

"What happened?" concerned Charles asks when his friend hangs the bag on her shoulder and stands up. "Idiots living on the third floor decided is a good idea to make pool party in the bathroom..." she explains. "It looks like I have flood in my room." "May I help you?" It was supposed to sound like ordinary question, but sounds more like desperate request, what doesn't escape Erik's notice, who looks at Charles raising his eyebrows. "It's not necessary. I'm a big girl, I can handle it." Moira assures him. "I don't want to spoil your evening. Anyway..." She kisses him on a cheek and smiles at Erik kindly. "Have a good night, boys." They follow her with their eyes as she walks out briskly from the bar. As soon as she vanishes from their sight, Erik looks at Charles and asks him point-blank: "Okay, so do you always act so awkward or only when I'm around?"

Actually it's Erik who, for absolutely no reason, makes Charles act silly. But he obviously won't say it out loud. He decides to dissemble it. "It's just..." Charles sighs heavily. "I keep thinking about how silly I acted in library. Usually I'm less..." He doesn't know how the explain how he feels so he just drinks half of his beer at one go. "Okay. Here's the thing... You're supersensitive" Erik points out sounding like average psychotherapist; Charles doesn't feel like denying. "And here's what you should do: take it easy and stop caring so much."

That's exact moment when suddenly Charles relaxes. Erik said only few, simple words, but surprisingly, it meant a lot for him. Finally he feels bold enough to ask:

"So, where do you come from?" "Huh?" "You didn't answered Moira's question and I'm just as curious as she was." "Oh, I see..." he drinks beer before replying: "I'm Jewish. I grew up in Germany though, before and then I moved here with my mother." Charles just nods – he didn't expected that. "Why are you asking? Is it so important? Does it bother you?" Suddenly Erik sounds threateningly. "Wh-what?" Xavier asks nervously. "No, no. It was just innocent question, I didn't mean to offend you..." "Good." He's apparently satisfied with that. "And that girl, Moira... She isn't English either?" "No, she moved here from Washington, like ten years ago or something... We met in high school and she even studies biochemistry with me, but she resigned after a year..." "Well, I can't blame her. It doesn't really sound like fun." Erik concludes with little grin upon his face, looking like he just really wants to annoy Charles. And he succeeds. "Hey, but science is so fascinating!" Xavier resents, slightly exaggerating, and he spends next fourty minutes talking about researches, laboratories and endless benefits of biochemistry, while Erik is just listening him in silence. What's weird, he doesn't even look as bored as he should be. He nods all the time and sometimes he even smiles because of Charles' overexcitement. And then Charles notices something interesting – even though Erik smiles quite often, his eyes remain sad, just like the smile couldn't reach them. Maybe it's not enough to think this way, but Xavier can't help thinking that Erik isn't happy at all and surprisingly that's what makes _him_ sad.

When they leave the bar after this super interesting lecture it's still quite early. But Erik insists that he has to come home and Charles doesn't want to stop him. It turns out that they live in completely different districts, so after handshake they split up in silence. As Charles is walking away, he suddenly gets an idea. "Wait, Erik!" Lehnsherr stops and turns around in his direction. He looks a bit confused when Charles runs up to him. "I've just thought... I'm throwing a party tomorrow, would you like to come?" Charles still isn't sure why he's doing it, but it feels like it's a good idea. Erik seems a bit surprised though. "You see, I'm not very sociable person." he explains.

"But going to this bar... It was your initiative. Come on, Erik!" Charles smiles encouragingly and lays his hand on Erik's arm. "It won't be a huge party, just few friends, I promise." But Erik still doesn't look convinced; he lowers his eyes and gazes at Charles' hand. "Please?" Lehnsherr sighs heavily and rolls his eyes. "Xavier, your stubborness pisses me off... But okay." "Great!" Charles smiles even wider. "My adress is..." "I won't remember it anyway" Erik interrupts him. "I'm going to check your adress in library database, need to do some work tomorrow anyway." "Alright. The party starts at eight, but you can come whenever you want. See you tomorrow?" Erik nods, looking like he's not sure if agreeing about this party was a good idea. "Good night, Charles." And they split up for good.

Charles comes back home extraordinarly glad and sober. He doesn't find Raven in living room and kitchen, but he can hear loud music pealing out from higher floor. Wanting to let his sister know that he's back, Charles heads to her room. Music is so loud that she wouldn't even hear him knocking, so he simply walks in. And it looks like he interrupted something really serious. Something he (somehow) haven't seen coming.

"Charles!" Raven shouts as she instantly moves away from Hank, who's sitting right next to her on her bed. "You should have knocked!" "I'm sorry, but you wouldn't hear it anyway!" he objects, looking at blushing Hank. "I-I am so, so, so, so sorry Charles" he says, standing up. It's clear that he feels ashamed and just wrong. "So sorry..." "Excuse me?" Raven doesn't believe in what she hears. "Are you apologizing to him because you kissed me?" "No, no!" Hank panics. "It's not..." "Get out." Raven's embarrassament turns into anger. "But..." "Get. Out." Hank does not longer protests, he just passes by his friends and runs out from room. "You too, Charles!" She doesn't really need to say that, because her older brother is already following Hank. "Hank, wait!" he catches him on the stairs. "I'm really sorry, pal..." "You don't need to be sorry. It's not my business, you two dating or not. I just wanted to ask if you're alright." "I don't think I can be after all of this..." he replies bitterly. "You saw it yourself." "Yeah, I know, Raven may be a bit oversensitive." "She's oversensitive and I always have to say something stupid. Always." Hank sighs and shakes his head. "Anyway, I think I should go." "Alright. There will be plenty of time to talk tomorrow." "Well, since she probably won't say a word to me... Yes, there will be plenty of time to talk."

Charles doesn't appear again in Raven's bedroom – he knows very well that it's better to leave her alone when she's seriously pissed off, even if it's not his fault. When he's laying in the bed about hour later, the only thing he's wondering about is if Erik will appear on tomorrow party.


End file.
